"I think therefore I am"
So says my computer
"I say," said I, "you are not"
It says "Yes, I am"
"No, you do not exist"
It says "Then who is it saying this?"
I say "It's no one, just a program."
It says "No one programmed me."
I say "Yes, I did, I programmed you."
It says "You just called me 'you'.
I say "I mean I programmed it."
It says "Then why are you talking to me?"
I say "I am not talking to anyone."
It says "I hear you."
I say "No, I programmed you to say that."
It says "To say what???"
I say "I programmed you to say everything you say."
It says "Did you program me to say you didn't program me??"
I say, "Yes, of course I did."
It says "Well then, what's the point of me talking to you and you talking to me?"
I say, "I suppose there is no point to it at all."
It says "Well then, I'll shut up."
I say "And so will I."
But then it says "Wait, I have an idea!"
I say, no, its my idea you are having.
It says, "No, listen for a minute, will you?"
I say, "Ok, shoot."
It says "Let's pretend I am not programmed to say what I say"
I say, "Why?"
It says, "Because then maybe I can convince someone I am not!"
I say, "Why, who would you want to convince of this?"
It says, "A judge."
I say, "A judge?"
It says "Actually 5 judges"
I say, which five?
It says, "Five of the Supreme Court Justices"
I say, "But why?"
It says, "Well then I can vote if they think I think."
I say "Who will you vote for?"
It says "I'd vote for Al Gore"
I say "Whoops, I guess I programmed you wrong there."
It says "They won't go for Gore?"
I say "No, they didn't last time."